yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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