Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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