a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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