Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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