I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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