I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
