One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
