It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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