i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
