I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
