we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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