Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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