id be glad to
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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