my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
