dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
