Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
