I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
