whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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