Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
