And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I wear drunk well.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
