ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
