I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
