So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
