Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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