Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
