i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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