you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
