i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
