hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
