I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
