i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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