I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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