He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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