Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Randomize
