Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
