There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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