I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
