I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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