do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
