I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
