Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
