You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
