I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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