Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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