I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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