this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
