he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
