i need an iv and a liver transplant
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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