i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
