This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
