We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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