I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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