How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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