Got a toothbrush?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize