oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
