I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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