She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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