Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
